i’m feeling brain shit as a term less alienating, less infantilizing, and more familiar than mental illness/trauma/depression
their implicit framing of the subject as hopeless and pathetic (tho they are still useful terms that i will use (i hope i’m not moving towards a macho-ization of psychological pain))
like, everyone has brain shit
shit is something we deal with
Things that are creepy:
- Persistence after someone has said NO or STOP, or has made it clear they are not interested in your advances
- Invalidating someone’s “no”
- Only stopping your advances when somebody informs you they are taken (you are telling this person their “no” alone is not enough, which means you do not respect them)
- Asking “why” when somebody rejects your advances
- Asking “why not” when somebody refuses to give you their phone number
bell hooks (via brightonfeministcollective)
I was reminded of this quote when I saw the video of the awesome woman macing that horrendous guy in the convenience store. The way he laughed at her discomfort and anger, and how powerful that is as a tool of oppression.
People often make jokes about things they are scared of.
It’s why oppressed people laugh at their oppressors, but it’s also why oppressors think it’s hilarious when oppressed people stand up for themselves.
Today a mother will talk about how “disgusting” fat people are and her child will internalize it. Today a father will tell his wife that he will divorce her if she ever gets fat and their child will internalize it. Today a grandmother will shame her grandchild for getting pudgy and that child will internalize it. Today a teacher will make a fat joke and his class full of children will internalize it. Today millions of children will be bombarded with messages about how thin is good and fat is bad and they will internalize it.
The “war on obesity” is creating a shock wave of weight bigotry that will be felt for generations to come.
"We’re raising a generation of kids to see fat as the ultimate failure and the ultimate sin."
TW: ed, ed behaviours, fatphobia, fat hatred, body hatred
And it’s casual and insidious. It seems benign, but we allow our magazines, televisions, internet, and movies to plant the idea in our heads that we simply aren’t working hard enough - or we would look like the models and actresses and actors we see every day - parading half nude across our points of view and reinforcing our idea that only thin people deserve to be nude in front of someone else.
We don’t even know what a real person looks like anymore. Let’s be honest. We’re SHOCKED when we see those side by side comparison photos of what Halle Berry, Beyonce, Madonna, Scarlet Jo, Jennifer Lawrence and others “really” look like. We have no clue what’s real and what’s not anymore - and product companies are raking in the profits.
We call it “body inspiration” “thinspiration” “fitspiration” “body goals” “fitness goals” and more.
We use inhuman, unbelievable, improbable, and unattainable bodies, scraped and morphed and pieced together on computers, to inspire ourselves to journey to a place we’ll never arrive at - no matter how hard we work or how much we starve ourselves.
You’ll never get there. You know why? Because no one can get there. That’s the whole point of it all. Even the models they use haven’t gotten “there” - and they never will, either.
But it’s so benign, the way it starts… we don’t even recognize it happening anymore.